


new perspective

by blazeofglory



Series: live a life from a new perspective [1]
Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Anal Sex, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24052162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazeofglory/pseuds/blazeofglory
Summary: Hardwon and Mavrus are casually hooking up.Whether or not Hardwon wants more is beside the point.[AU: the Band of Boobs are an actual band.]
Relationships: Mavrus/Hardwon Surefoot
Series: live a life from a new perspective [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888468
Comments: 26
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the title is ABSOLUTELY from the panic! at the disco song.
> 
> special shoutout to my partner in crime Sina who reads all my shit, even for fandoms she’s not in, and to Danny for fueling my mavwon love.

“I’m officially dropping out,” Mavrus announces for what must be the hundredth time as he enters the apartment without knocking. Hardwon, sprawled out on the couch and watching TV, grins wide when he sees his friend, despite the dark look on Mavrus’ face. 

“Hi, Mavrus!” Moonshine calls out from the kitchen, unnecessarily loud considering how tiny the apartment is. “You stayin’ for dinner?”

At the same time, Bev yells from his room, “Hey, Mavrus! Please don’t make out on the couch again, guys!” 

Mavrus sighs dramatically, flopping down on the couch with his head in Hardwon’s lap. Hardwon looks down at him with a bemused expression. “Hey, there.” 

“Moonshine, I’ll eat anything you feed me!” Mavrus yells back, just as loud, heedless of Hardwon’s eardrums. “Bev, no promises!” 

Then he looks up, meeting Hardwon’s eye, and he finally smiles. It’s not as bright as usual—a little strained around the edges. He looks tired. “Hey, babe.” 

“School still sucks?” Hardwon asks as he starts carding his fingers through Mavrus’ hair. Mavrus lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes, relaxing into Hardwon’s touch and the deceptively comfortable cushions of their decades-old couch. It was an old couch when Red and Gunther bought it, and they kept it for a whole decade before letting Hardwon have it for free. It stinks of cigarette smoke, but _god_ is it comfy. 

“School is stupid and I don’t wanna do it anymore,” Mavrus replies with a huff. He’s quiet for a long moment, and Hardwon hears Moonshine singing in the kitchen as she cooks, something bubbling on the stove, and Pawpaw meowing for scraps like he’s never been fed before. Then Mavrus adds, quieter, “I’m failing my stupid class. _All_ my stupid classes. I don’t even know why I’m _in_ college.” 

“You don’t have to be in school,” Hardwon says after a moment, feeling awkward. He never knows what to say when Mavrus gets like this—Hardwon knows less than nothing about college. He didn’t even finish _high school._ “But you’re not stupid. You’re _crazy_ smart, dude.”

Mavrus opens his eyes, looking up at Hardwon with another forced, tired smile. “It’s whatever, you know? It’s fine.” He sits up suddenly, crowding into Hardwon’s space, his hands on Hardwon’s shoulders. “We should make out.” 

“Uh.” It takes Hardwon a second to catch up to this sharp turn in subject. He reaches out, pulling Mavrus in closer, hands on his waist. “Bev will yell at us.” 

“Bev and Erlin made out on the couch last weekend,” Moonshine chimes in, loud enough that Bev definitely hears. “Y’all do what you like.” 

“We didn’t _make out!”_ Bev yells back, indignant. “It—it was just some _light kissing!”_

“There was tongue!” Moonshine counters. 

Hardwon is still laughing when Mavrus leans in and captures his lips in a kiss. The glory that is kissing Mavrus is short-lived, unfortunately, because it’s only a few minutes before Bev pointedly clears his throat. 

Mavrus leans back, glaring over the back of the couch where Bev is surely standing—though Hardwon doesn’t bother turning around to look. He already knows exactly what Bev looks like when he’s displeased, hands on his hips and brow set. 

“I’m having company over,” Bev says, voice high, sounding stressed. “I just—can you guys stop being in love for a minute and help me clean up?” 

“We’re not _in love_ ,” Mavrus cuts in. 

“Company?” Hardwon asks, ignoring Mavrus for now and finally turning around to look at Bev—and he doesn’t look annoyed, like Hardwon had expected. He’s got his arms crossed tight over his chest, his jaw clenched, and he looks like he’s about to _cry_. Shit. 

“My dad,” Bev answers, voice tight. 

“Your _dad_?” Moonshine echoes, still in the other room. She sticks her head out of the doorway, eyes wide. “Is he comin’ to the show tonight?” 

“ _No_ ,” Bev answers quickly, shaking his head. “He doesn’t even know about the band. He’s picking me up and he wants to get dinner, and then I’ll be back in time for sound check.” 

“He could eat dinner here,” Moonshine points out, waving her wooden spoon and accidentally flicking some sauce onto the floor, which Pawpaw licks up immediately. “There’s plenty of food, and we could get to know him!” 

“No, it’s okay.” Bev pulls out his phone, frowns at it, then puts it back in his pocket. “Actually, I’ll just meet him outside. We don’t need to clean.” 

“Wait—” Hardwon starts, but Bev has already turned away, rushing back into his room and closing the door. Hardwon and Moonshine share a concerned look, but they both know that Bev needs some space—Moonshine goes back to cooking and Hardwon turns back to Mavrus. 

“What’s up with Bev’s dad?” Mavrus asks in a whisper, glancing nervously over at Bev’s closed door. 

“I honestly don’t know,” Hardwon admits with a frown. “He doesn’t really talk about it. I’ve never met the guy.” 

There’s a clatter from the kitchen as Moonshine moves the big pot of jambalaya, and a moment later, she joins them on the couch. It’s a tight fit with the three of them, but Hardwon doesn’t mind having an arm wrapped around both of his friends. 

“Everyone’s got daddy issues, right?” Mavrus says, shrugging. 

“Not me,” Moonshine replies. 

At the same time, Hardwon says, “Hey, I don’t.” 

Hardwon and Moonshine share another look; Mavrus rolls his eyes. 

“Isn’t your dad the dean at my university?” Mavrus asks, brows raised. 

“Well, yeah,” Moonshine replies with a huff. “I grew up not knowin’ who my daddy was and I didn’t have daddy issues then, and now I know, and I _still don’t_ have daddy issues.” 

“Does he still want you to get your GED and apply to college?” Hardwon asks. 

Moonshine groans. “Don’t remind me.” 

“ _My_ dad is an asshole,” Mavrus volunteers casually. “I wouldn’t have finished high school if he didn’t make me, let alone _college_.” 

“You really should just drop out,” Hardwon replies, squeezing Mavrus’s shoulder in support. “Your dad can fuck right off.” 

Mavrus leans against Hardwon’s shoulder, sighing. “If I drop out, I lose my TA job, and then no money, and then no apartment. I’d have to get a _job_ , and what am I even qualified for? I could never do anything with customer service, and I’d be a shit waiter.” 

“Well I don’t know about a job, but you could live here,” Moonshine cuts in, leaning over Hardwon to grin at Mavrus. 

“Yeah,” Hardwon says with a chuckle. “You can sleep on this shitty old couch with me.” 

Mavrus sighs again, long and dramatic. “If we make this album and we _sell_ it, I’ll drop out and just— just do the band full time.” 

Hardwon snorts. “You’re gonna do the whole band? Bev is _young,_ dude.” 

“You into older men?” Moonshine teases with a wide, toothy grin. “I didn’t know Balnor was your type.” 

“I hate you both,” Mavrus replies, deadpan, and Hardwon and Moonshine both laugh. 

“You _know_ ,” Moonshine starts a moment later. “ _Hardwon_ here used to have a thing for older men.” 

“ _Oh?_ ” Mavrus perks up, already grinning as Hardwon groans loudly. 

“I did _not_ ,” Hardwon refutes, and Moonshine just laughs loudly. “We _never even had sex—_ ” 

“Hardwon had a _sugar daddy,_ ” Moonshine carries on, and Mavrus laughs in loud, surprised delight. “He was this hot older Russian guy—” 

“We were _friends_ ,” Hardwon interrupts, though he’s laughing now too. “He just— he helped with rent because he was nice!” 

“These walls are really thin!” Bev calls out from his bedroom. “Hardwon, he was your sugar daddy! And he’s hot!” 

“Well, I mean, he _is_ hot,” Hardwon concedes. 

“I cannot believe this,” Mavrus says, still laughing. “What happened?”

“He moved back to Russia,” Moonshine answers, breathless from laughter. “He asked Hardwon to come with him!” 

“Because we were friends!” Hardwon replies, gesturing widely and almost hitting Mavrus in the face. 

“He definitely wanted to sleep with you!” Mavrus declares. He nudges Hardwon with his elbow, raising his eyebrows pointedly. “Does he still send you money?” 

“Well—” Hardwon hesitates, because he _knows_ how this is going to sound. “He does sometimes? But only because he thinks I should get new clothes.”

“Oh my _god_.” 

“He sends you money for clothes?” Moonshine asks, gasping for breath as she laughs. “Hardwon, he is in _love_ with you!” 

Hardwon groans, hiding his face in his hands. “Oh my god, he’s in love with me.” 

Moonshine’s giggles finally start to trail off as she asks, “Should you stop takin’ his money?” 

“Is he the reason you own _leather pants_?” Mavrus asks, grinning. “I was always curious about that choice.” 

“Hardwon, you should probably break up with your sugar daddy if you’re dating Mavrus!” Bev calls out from his bedroom, and Moonshine erupts into giggles once more. 

“Maybe they’re in an open relationship!” Moonshine yells back, and at the same time, Mavrus yells from Hardwon’s other side, “We’re not dating!” 

Moonshine was turned around to yell in the direction of Bev’s bedroom, but now she whips around quickly, staring at Hardwon and Mavrus in confusion. “Y’all aren’t dating?” 

Hardwon laughs nervously, suddenly hyper aware of the _look_ that Mavrus is giving him. 

“It’s _casual_ ,” Hardwon says, and he winces as the words don’t come out casual at all. 

“I thought—” Moonshine starts, but stops abruptly when Hardwon gives her a pointed look. She looks confused for a second, but then she goes back to smiling like nothing is wrong, and Hardwon is unspeakably grateful for it. 

Moonshine knows too much. 

And the thing is, Hardwon didn’t mean to tell her any of it. 

* * *

It’s just— well— it was late at night. They had a show and then they partied, and the sun was starting to rise, and they were still awake. Balnor had gone home hours before, Bev was passed out in bed with Erlin, and Mavrus was curled up in their old pink armchair, fast asleep. 

Hardwon and Moonshine were the only ones still up, standing at the kitchen counter and eating shredded cheese by the handful. Hardwon was still drunk out of his _mind_ , but the high was starting to wear off and the sleepiness was starting to settle in— Moonshine shoved some cheese in her mouth and yawned, and Hardwon could tell she felt the same. 

He still doesn’t know why he said what he said. 

“Have you ever been in love?” Hardwon asked, looking out into the living room at Mavrus curled up awkwardly on the armchair. 

“Well, sure,” Moonshine answered with a casual shrug. She took another handful of cheese and kept talking with her mouth full. “I fall in love every time I see Shae doin’ yoga.” 

Hardwon huffed a quiet laugh. “Anyone other than Shae?” 

Moonshine fed a piece of cheese to Pawpaw as she thought about it, brow furrowed. “I mean, I think I fell in love with Triss when she did this _thing_ with her tongue, but I don’t think that’s what you mean.” 

“Maybe it’s close enough,” Hardwon said, frowning. He reached for the bag of cheese and tipped the last of it into his mouth. 

They were both quiet for a long moment. 

“Sometimes,” Hardwon started, startling himself and Moonshine with the sudden noise. He must have still been high, because he wouldn’t have dared to say any of this out loud otherwise. “Sometimes, I— I think... But how do you _know_?” 

Moonshine hummed thoughtfully, a serious look on her face as she slumped against the counter. She was a mess of sweat and glitter, her braid falling out, and lipstick smudges on her neck, but Hardwon had no doubt that she had something wise to say. 

“Maybe it doesn’t matter if you know or not,” she finally suggested. “You know? Maybe you’re in love with— with the music and the parties, or maybe you’re in love with the way he kisses you, or maybe you _are_ in love with him. Whatever you call it doesn’t matter.” 

Hardwon rubbed his face tiredly, looking away from Mavrus’s sleeping form. 

“Hardwon,” Moonshine prompted softly, and he looked over at her— she held out another bag of cheese, smiling. “I just gotta say, I think wonderin’ if you’re in love is a sign of bein’ in love.” 

“Don’t be crazy,” Hardwon scoffed, a gut reaction, and didn’t meet her eyes as he took another handful of cheese. “I’m not _actually_ in love.”

“It could happen,” Moonshine replied with a gentle nudge. “It happened before, didn’t it?” 

“Gemma was different,” Hardwon refuted, shaking his head. “This is just… We… we’re not in _love_.” 

“Alright,” Moonshine agreed easily. “If you say so.” 

* * *

“I better go check on the jambalaya,” Moonshine says casually, heaving herself up from the couch and going back into the kitchen. 

Despite the room to spread out on the couch now, Hardwon doesn’t move, and Mavrus doesn’t complain. He rests his head against Hardwon’s shoulder and lets out a quiet sigh. 

“Thank god we’re playing tonight,” Mavrus says, sounding tired again. Hardwon barely resists the urge to sigh out loud in relief that the subject of _dating_ has been dropped. Casual is good. Casual is fine. 

It’s working for them. 

“Yeah,” Hardwon agrees, squeezing his arm around Mavrus’s shoulder. “Feels like we haven’t played in fucking _ages_.” 

“It’s gonna be a good fucking show,” Mavrus declares, loud and confident— but then he yawns again, which trails off into a groan. “God, okay, maybe I need a nap so I don’t fall asleep on stage.” 

“You can nap in my room!” Moonshine offers, yelling from the kitchen once more. “Pawpaw might even snuggle up!” 

“Thanks, Moonshine!” Mavrus yells back, still right in Hardwon’s ear, and Hardwon winces. 

Mavrus awkwardly cranes his neck so he can meet Hardwon’s eyes, raising both eyebrows. “Nap with me?” 

“Hey, Moonshine!” Hardwon yells back, grinning when Mavrus makes a grumpy face at the loud noise. “Can I nap in your bed too?” 

“Just take your shoes off first!” Moonshine replies. 

“That was _one time!”_ Hardwon yells back.

“Wasn’t it like twice?” Mavrus counters. 

Hardwon laughs and jostles Mavrus as they both stand. “Shut up, I was drunk both times.” 

Mavrus rolls his eyes as he kicks off his boots, aiming them in the general direction of the front door. Hardwon does the same; both pairs of shoes end up roughly in the middle of the hallway, and neither of them bother to move them. 

As Mavrus heads down the short hall to Moonshine’s room, Hardwon pops into the kitchen for a second. Moonshine turns away from her cooking and gives him a _look._

“You need to talk to him about how you feel,” she whispers, and even though she’s being as quiet as possible, Hardwon still glances nervously into the hall to make sure that Mavrus can’t hear them. It’s a _small_ apartment and sound travels all too well. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Hardwon counters, crossing his arms defensively. “I thought you knew it was, you know, _casual._ ” 

“I don’t think you _do_ casual,” Moonshine points out, but then she shrugs. “Just think on it. Now go spoon before he comes lookin’ for you.” 

Hardwon grins. “We’ll be up in time for dinner.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Moonshine laughs. 

Down the hall, in Moonshine’s room where Hardwon has napped many a time, Mavrus is laying in bed, wearing a pair of tie-dyed sweatpants that Hardwon recognizes as Moonshine’s. 

“What do you think?” Mavrus asks, kicking a leg up dramatically. “Do they suit me?” 

Mavrus actually looks really fucking cute, in his faded old band tee and the brightly colored sweats—it’s a rare, softer look than his usual leather jacket and black jeans. And _that_ is a killer look, but this is just as enticing. 

“You look ridiculous,” Hardwon lies, flopping down onto the bed. “Maybe you should take them off. Your shirt too, actually, just to be safe.” 

Mavrus lets out a loud, delighted laugh, and Hardwon grins. 

“ _Later_ ,” Mavrus promises, a mischievous look in his eye. “It’s nap time.” 

Hardwon nods solemnly. “Big spoon or little spoon?” 

“Big spoon,” Mavrus declares, and they both immediately shuffle into the right position. 

Mavrus is warm and comforting all along Hardwon’s back; they fit together perfectly, no matter which way they spoon. They don’t do this often, since Hardwon usually sleeps on the couch that isn’t big enough to cuddle on laying down, but Mavrus does have his own place and Hardwon’s stayed over there a few times. 

Hardwon tries not to stay over at Mavrus’s too often though, because then they end up cuddling, and then Hardwon gets that weird twinging feeling in his chest, and that just won’t do—they’re friends. Good friends. 

Best friends. 

“Night, babe,” Mavrus mumbles, then presses a kiss to the back of Hardwon’s head. Something in Hardwon’s chest twinges. 

Hardwon lets out a quiet sigh. 


	2. Chapter 2

“We’re gonna be late,” Mavrus says, but he’s laughing and helping Hardwon tug the leather jacket from Mavrus’s shoulders. It hits the floor with a heavy thud and Mavrus reaches for Hardwon’s jacket too, fumbling with the zipper. “Our friends are gonna kill us.”

“They’ll be fine,” Hardwon dismisses easily, and he leans down just that little bit to kiss Mavrus again, long and lingering. They’re standing in the middle of Mavrus’s tiny shithole of a studio apartment, and they were only supposed to stop by to grab a bottle of vodka to bring to the party, but—well, Hardwon isn’t complaining about this turn of events. Everyone will get over it if they’re late; they’ll show up eventually. It’s not like their band is even playing tonight. 

Hardwon’s jacket falls to the floor. 

Mavrus kisses Hardwon’s neck, nipping sharply, and he whispers, “Let’s take this to the bed.” 

“Hell _yes_ ,” Hardwon agrees quickly. Mavrus bites Hardwon’s neck again, and Hardwon’s grip tightens on Mavrus’s waist, and then—Mavrus pulls away. He walks the few steps over to the corner of the room, where the mattress on a box spring sits on the floor, and he kicks off his untied boots as he goes. 

And this— _this_ —watching Mavrus sprawl out on the bed and impatiently pull his tight mesh shirt over his head—this is one of Hardwon’s favorite things in the world. He loves to touch, but _god_ , he also loves to watch. Sometimes Hardwon is jealous of the crowds that get to watch them play, because Hardwon only ever gets to see Mavrus from behind on stage—and _god,_ he is not complaining about getting to see that ass in tight pants—but there’s something so goddamn captivating and _sexy_ about the look that Mavrus gets on his face in bed and on stage. Mavrus is a fucking sight to see. 

It’s been a few months since all of this started, but this still feels so _new_ sometimes, so _exciting_ and _intoxicating_ and—and Hardwon finds it hard to think when Mavrus is looking at him like that. 

“Gonna join me?” Mavrus prompts, smirking up at Hardwon. 

“I’m enjoying the view,” Hardwon replies with a grin. He holds eye contact as he unbuckles his belt and shoves his pants down; Mavrus looks away first, his gaze tracking down Hardwon’s body hungrily. 

“Get down here,” Mavrus whines, reaching up for Hardwon. “Come on, you’re killing me.” 

“Needy,” Hardwon teases, but he does as he’s asked. He joins Mavrus in bed, kissing him soundly, and he’s unsurprised when he feels Mavrus immediately shoving Hardwon’s tshirt up. Hardwon obliges, and while he’s eagerly tugging his shirt off, Mavrus kicks off his pants, and—

“Jesus,” Hardwon murmurs when he sees that Mavrus wasn’t wearing _anything_ under those pants. Mavrus grins, wild and eager. 

“I had high hopes for tonight,” Mavrus says, pulling Hardwon in close. He reaches down, cupping Hardwon through his boxers. “I was thinking we’d get to fuck in the bathroom at the party, but this is even better.” 

Hardwon laughs, even as he bucks his hips up to meet the slow, teasing movement of Mavrus’s hand. “Yeah, now Moonshine won’t walk in on us again.” 

“I want you all to myself,” Mavrus whispers, sliding his hands over Hardwon’s hips and slipping under the waistband of his boxers to grab his ass. 

Hardwon leans down to kiss him, licking into Mavrus’s hot mouth, and he _wants_. He’s _burning_ with want, with _need_ , and he has been ever since that first time. It was months ago, it was summer, and they were rehearsing, and Mavrus was in a crop top, and Hardwon was staring, and Mavrus smirked at him and said, _You can kiss me if you want to, you know. I’ve been waiting for it._ And they’ve been doing this ever since. 

It’s just as hot now as it was the first time. 

“You can have me,” Hardwon responds, his lips still brushing against Mavrus’s, and it comes out more tender than it should. What they’re doing here, it’s not _tender_ and it never has been. It’s passion and it’s adrenaline and it’s _just really hot,_ okay? So what if Hardwon’s heart skips a beat when Mavrus smiles at him. So _what_ that Hardwon hasn’t wanted to go out with any of the groupies that throw themselves at him. _So fucking what_ that Moonshine and Bev seem to think that Hardwon is in love. 

Because it doesn’t matter if he is! _This_ isn’t _that_. 

“You know what I want?” Mavrus whispers as he squeezes Hardwon’s ass. He looks up, eyes dark with lust. “I want to eat your ass.” 

Hardwon flushes bright red. “You—what?” 

“You know,” Mavrus says with a shrug, grinning like he hasn’t just rocked Hardwon’s entire worldview. “My tongue, your asshole? Wanna try? 

“Uh.” Hardwon shifts a little as he thinks it over, and it’s—it’s not a _crazy_ idea. It just never occurred to him. But, hey, Mavrus’s mouth hasn’t disappointed him so far; Hardwon ignores the butterflies in his stomach and he shrugs. “Sure.” 

Mavrus kisses Hardwon again, biting and hot, then he whispers, “Don’t worry, baby. You’ll like it.” 

Hardwon doesn’t really know why, but he _shivers_. 

“Okay, yeah,” Hardwon says, breathless. “How—”

“On your hands and knees,” Mavrus cuts in immediately, a devious look on his face as Hardwon blushes again. 

All too eager to give Mavrus what he wants, Hardwon quickly scrambles off of him, and he only hesitates for a second before taking off his boxers and throwing them to the side. He can feel Mavrus’s hot gaze on him as he gets on his hands and knees, suddenly feeling very, _very_ naked. Hardwon glances over his shoulder, where Mavrus is on his knees now, eyes raking over Hardwon’s body hungrily. 

“Like this?” Hardwon asks, just to see the way that Mavrus grins. 

“Yeah, you’re doing great,” Mavrus says, shifting closer, and _god_ , Hardwon is hard. Mavrus runs his hands down Hardwon’s back, all the way down to his ass, and this time, when he squeezes Hardwon’s ass, he also spreads his cheeks. 

Red-faced and feeling so _exposed_ , Hardwon hides his face in his arms. His whole body is a powder keg, just _waiting_ for Mavrus’s touch to ignite him. 

Hardwon hears the sheets rustling, the mattress shifting, and then he feels Mavrus’s tongue _licking him_ , and he lets out a loud moan, surprising even himself with the noise. Mavrus huffs a quiet, pleased sound, and does it again, then _again_ , and Hardwon finds himself shifting his hips back, pushing into it. It feels _strange_ , but in the best possible way. 

“ _God_ , Mavrus,” Hardwon moans, half-muffled into his arms. “That’s just—just— _fuck._ ” 

Mavrus pulls back for a second, still squeezing Hardwon’s ass, and Hardwon just _knows_ that Mavrus is smirking when he says, “Oh? You want me to fuck you?” 

Hardwon’s brain short-circuits. “Uh.” 

“Mm,” Mavrus hums, sounding way more amused than he should. “Think on it, okay?” 

“I— _ah_ ,” Hardwon moans as Mavrus licks into him again, and it’s just _so good_. Hardwon feels like he’s on fucking fire. Sex with Mavrus is always amazing, but this is just—it’s so _different_. It’s strange and it’s _hot_ and the more that Mavrus licks inside him, the more Hardwon wonders how it would feel if Mavrus was _really_ inside him. 

And it’s—it’s not the first time that Hardwon has thought about this. But it’s always been a passing curiosity, a natural progression of wondering what it would be like if they swapped roles, and now it’s something _else_. Hardwon is curious, yeah, that’s not different. But now he _wants_. He’s done with idle curiosity; he wants to _know_. 

“Mavrus,” Hardwon gasps out, and Mavrus pulls back again. “God, we—we’re gonna be so fucking late.” 

“Maybe we should stop,” Mavrus suggests, chuckling. 

“No, no,” Hardwon replies quickly. He picks his head up, craning his neck to look behind him-- and he can’t see Mavrus well at this angle, but it’s enough. Hardwon holds eye contact as well as he can as he says, “We have all the time in the world, baby.” 

Mavrus raises a brow, grinning. “Oh, yeah?” 

Hardwon looks away, back down at the sheets, and says in a hushed voice, “You should fuck me.” 

“Hmm.” Mavrus traces a fingertip over Hardwon’s spit-slick hole, and it’s all Hardwon can do not to shiver again. “You want me inside you?” 

“I—yeah.” 

“Yeah?” Mavrus echoes, and Hardwon’s heart is _racing._ “Ask me nicely.” 

“Please,” Hardwon whispers, and Mavrus makes a considering sound, so Hardwon raises his voice, growing desperate, “Mavrus, _please_.” 

“God, you’re so hot,” Mavrus says quietly, something reverent in his voice. “Can you grab the lube? I think it’s under the pillow.” 

Hardwon fumbles around and grabs it, tossing it back at Mavrus, and once again craning his neck to give Mavrus an amused look. “Under your pillow?” 

“Shut up,” Mavrus replies, grinning. 

Hardwon huffs a soft chuckle, turning his head to rest his forehead on his arms. He shifts a little, still feeling nervous and exposed, jittery in anticipation. “What’s taking so long? Put your fingers in my ass.” 

Mavrus snorts. “Be patient.” 

“Says _you_ ,” Hardwon teases. “You weren’t so patient the other day when you texted me a dick pic at like 2a— _fuck!_ ” 

The first slide of Mavrus’s finger inside Hardwon is a welcome shock to his system, and Hardwon instinctively clenches down as he moans. 

Mavrus doesn’t move his finger yet, but he shifts a little closer, leaning over to press a soft kiss to Hardwon’s back. His free hand roams over Hardwon’s body, rubbing his back for a second, then sliding around to move over his abs, then down to curl around his hard cock. Mavrus strokes him slowly as Hardwon adjusts to the feeling, just trying to catch his breath. 

“How do you feel?” Mavrus asks softly. “Want me to move my finger?” 

“It—it’s good,” Hardwon breathes out, hips shifting back a little. “God. Okay. Yeah.” 

Hardwon can’t help but moan again as Mavrus starts to really finger him, still slow and gentle, but it’s _good_. Hardwon rocks back into it, and it’s not long before Mavrus adds another slick finger, and it’s a _stretch,_ and Hardwon swears loudly. Mavrus moves his hand from Hardwon’s cock, instead reaching back around to grab Hardwon’s ass, spreading his cheeks—and Hardwon can just imagine how _obscene_ he must look, face down, ass up, two fingers so _deep_ inside him. 

“Jesus fuck, I can’t believe we’ve never done this before,” Hardwon pants out, grinding back against Mavrus’s fingers, and he hears Mavrus let out a breathy laugh. 

“I wanna do everything with you,” Mavrus replies, and before Hardwon can even _begin_ to process that, Mavrus speeds up his fingers, _nailing_ Hardwon’s prostate, and Hardwon can only moan. 

Soon, Mavrus adds one more finger, and Hardwon loses all capability of coherent thought. Nothing matters outside of this bed—nothing even _exists_ beyond this mattress, as far as Hardwon cares. It’s just the two of them, breathing and moaning and feeling, and this is _it,_ it’s all Hardwon ever wants for the rest of his god damn fucking life. 

And then—

“Fuck, babe,” Mavrus swears, breathless. “You’re fucking perfect. Can I… are you ready?” 

“Yes, yeah, come on,” Hardwon answers immediately. “Give it to me.”

“Maybe I should make you beg again,” Mavrus teases, slowly removing his fingers, and Hardwon groans. 

“ _Mavrus_ ,” Hardwon whines, shifting impatiently. “Fuck me already.” 

Then Hardwon feels Mavrus’s cock—not pushing inside him yet, but the tip just _touching_ him, teasing him, and Hardwon lets out another frustrated groan. 

_Finally,_ Mavrus pushes inside Hardwon, and it’s—it feels like getting really, _really_ high. The kind of high where he doesn’t think anymore, where everything just feels _good_ and _happy_ , the kind of high where he dances until he passes out—but _so much better_. And fucking Mavrus is good, fucking Mavrus is _amazing_ , but right now, Hardwon feels like he’s _ascending to fucking heaven._ He feels stretched and full and high out of his damn mind, and Hardwon is in _love_ with the feeling. 

“ _God,”_ Hardwon moans, fists clenching in the bunched up sheets. “That’s—Jesus, Mavrus.” 

“I knew you’d like it,” Mavrus replies smugly. He doesn’t move yet, just stroking Hardwon’s back as he lets him adjust. 

“I need more,” Hardwon says, half a moan and half a whisper. “Baby, I need you, please.” 

“You’re so fucking good,” Mavrus praises, and then he _moves_ , so slowly at first, and then he snaps his hips and starts fucking Hardwon in earnest. Any capability that Hardwon had for coherent thought is _gone_. All he can do is _moan_ and try to catch his breath and try not to come _instantly._

“Wait,” Hardwon breathes out after a long moment, breathing heavy. Mavrus stops moving instantly. “Can you—I—I want to kiss you.” 

“Oh.” Slowly, carefully, Mavrus pulls out, and Hardwon immediately rolls over. He can tell his face must be red, sweaty and embarrassed and more turned on than he’s ever been in his life—but Mavrus is staring down at him like he’s beautiful. 

Hardwon reaches out, grabbing Mavrus by the shoulders and tugging him down into a kiss. Mavrus goes easily, kissing Hardwon hot and needy and insistent, and he doesn’t break the kiss when he nudges Hardwon’s thighs further apart and slides inside him once more. 

Everything about this is overwhelming and intimate and _hot_ , Hardwon can only cling to Mavrus and kiss him back and _take it_ as he’s fucked hard. Mavrus breaks the kiss, trailing a line of hot, biting kisses down Hardwon’s neck and down to his chest, and Hardwon can’t help the whiny noise he lets out. 

“Tell me what you need,” Mavrus says in a low, raspy voice. His tongue flicks out, licking over Hardwon’s pierced nipple, and Hardwon groans. “I’ll give it to you, anything you want.” 

“Just you,” Hardwon replies, breathless. “I need _more_.”

“Okay, baby.” Mavrus ducks his head down again, lips closing around Hardwon’s nipple and _sucking_ —and then he pulls back, giving Hardwon a dirty grin. “I’ll give you more.” 

Mavrus reaches down, wrapping his hand around Hardwon’s cock, stroking in time to the movement of his hips—and with his free hand, he reaches up, and he taps two fingertips to Hardwon’s lips. 

Hardwon parts his lips and takes Mavrus’s fingers inside his mouth easily, licking and sucking without hesitation. He wouldn’t be able to talk now, even if his mouth was free—all he feels, all he _knows_ , is Mavrus. Just _Mavrus_ , the fingers in his mouth and the drool dripping down his chin, the hand around his cock twisting just right, and the cock _inside_ him, making him feel better than any other god damn experience in his entire fucking life. 

For one startling second of clarity, Hardwon realizes that this is the high he’s been chasing all these years. This is _it._

And then Hardwon moans loudly around Mavrus’s fingers, coming _hard,_ making a mess between their bodies as heat and pleasure flood through him. 

Distantly, Hardwon is aware of Mavrus moving his hands, the movement of his hips slowing, and Hardwon opens his eyes to smile dazedly at Mavrus. 

“Good?” Mavrus asks, oddly sounding a little nervous, brows knit. His hair is falling in his face, and it’s a very, very cute look. “Too much? I can pull out.”

“Mm, not yet,” Hardwon responds immediately, hooking his ankles behind Mavrus. He may be a little out of his mind, riding high on the best orgasm of his life, but he knows well enough that he doesn’t want this to stop ‘til Mavrus is feeling just as good. “Keep fucking me, baby. I love it, I love you, just give it to me.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Mavrus groans, nodding immediately. “You’re so hot.” 

Then Mavrus is fucking Hardwon again, hard and fast, rhythm slipping as he races toward pleasure. Hardwon knows the blissed out look on Mavrus’s face—he’s _close._

“Come inside me,” Hardwon whispers, ignoring the blush that rises to his cheeks at the request. “I need to feel it.” 

As always, Mavrus gives Hardwon what he asks for. 

It feels _strange_ and _hot_ and intensely intimate when Mavrus comes inside Hardwon, moaning loudly, face buried in Hardwon’s neck as his body _shakes_. After, he carefully pulls out and flops onto his back next to Hardwon, still gathering his breath. 

Hardwon shoots Mavrus a dazed smile. “I think I need a nap.” 

“Nap away,” Mavrus replies with a soft laugh. He shifts onto his side and Hardwon gets the message—he turns away, onto his side as well, and Mavrus spoons him. Hardwon lets out a soft sigh, enjoying the gentle embrace, and it’s only a few seconds before he drifts off to sleep.

It’s not long before Hardwon wakes up again—he’s not sure if he even fully fell asleep, or if he’d just been drifting—and he’s no longer in Mavrus’s embrace. He blinks and rubs the sleep out of his eyes, and he notices Mavrus sitting on the edge of the mattress, his back to Hardwon. 

Mavrus turns around, an easy smile on his face as he sees that Hardwon’s awake. He’s holding a lit cigarette, smoke trailing up through the air. “Guess we’re not gonna make it to the party, huh?” 

“Guess not,” Hardwon replies with a soft laugh. He sits up and scoots over to the edge of the bed too, leaning into Mavrus’s side. 

Without Hardwon even needing to ask, Mavrus passes him a cigarette, and when Hardwon lifts it to his lips, Mavrus lights it for him with the same shitty rainbow lighter that Hardwon bought him at a convenience store months ago. Hardwon inhales deeply and lets it out slowly. 

“Did you mean it, what you said earlier?” Mavrus asks quietly. 

“Hm?” Hardwon shrugs, a bit awkwardly since he’s still leaning against Mavrus. “What did I say?” 

Mavrus takes a long drag, and when he finally responds, it’s even quieter than before. “You said you loved me.”

Hardwon freezes instantly. 

“I don’t remember saying that,” Hardwon admits, mind racing as he tries to come up with an excuse. “It’s—I—the sex was _really_ good. Best yet, and that was a pretty high bar. Hey, we could probably still make it to the party if we left now.”

Mavrus shoves his half-smoked cigarette into an empty soda can, then shifts suddenly, and Hardwon sits back accordingly. They’re facing each other now, and Hardwon can’t quite interpret the look on Mavrus’s face. 

“Tell me if you didn’t mean it,” Mavrus says, voice steady, though there’s something wild in his eyes that betrays his anxiety. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not in love with me.”

Hardwon’s heart is racing so fast, he thinks he might die. He opens his mouth to say it, to just _say_ it isn’t true so he doesn’t ruin everything, but no words come out. 

He’s always been a horrible liar. 

“I meant it,” Hardwon whispers, somehow managing to hold Mavrus’s eyes even while he feels like he may suddenly be sick. “I didn’t mean to say it, but I meant it. I still mean it.” 

Mavrus lets out a deep breath. “Put out your cigarette before you burn a hole in the mattress.” 

Hardwon fumbles around for the same empty can, shoving the butt in there. When he turns back to Mavrus, heart in his throat, trying to think of an excuse to leave—he’s surprised to see Mavrus smiling. 

Suddenly, Mavrus leans in and kisses Hardwon hard, hands on Hardwon’s face as he licks into his mouth. Hardwon slides his fingers into Mavrus’s messy hair and kisses him back, hot and sloppy, and then—it ends as suddenly as it began. Mavrus pulls back, looking more wild than ever before. 

“I’m in love with you,” Mavrus says, breathless, and then lets out a surprised laugh. “I don’t know when it happened, but it happened.” 

Hardwon finds himself grinning wide. “Really?”

“I couldn’t help it,” Mavrus replies, still grinning. “I realized a while ago that I never want you to leave.”

“No need to worry about that,” Hardwon says immediately, leaning in for a soft kiss. “I’m not going anywhere.” 


End file.
